We have been talking communication for several articles. Let us switch to another topic – conflict.
Although sometimes not recognized as such, we all live in conflict. It may be as small as a difference of opinion at home or a disagreement at the office, and as significant as war. It may be a father who is trying to provide adequate finances for his family, but cannot find a job. Workers who want better wages or benefits, but find their employer unwilling. Employers who would grant employees better wages and benefits, but can’t find the revenue. Conflict is often found in team members who have the same goals, but different opinions on how to reach those goals. Since differences – conflicts – are found everywhere, how do we deal with them?
First, it is important that we realize the positive and the negative sides of conflict. Individuals caught in conflict often have the opinion that whatever it takes, it would be wonderful to be rid of the distraction. They believe that without conflicting situations, things would run smoothly and progress faster. In fact, that is true. If everyone thinks the same way, things do move faster and usually smoother. However, there should be other considerations.
While smoothness and speed have their place, many differences don’t respond to quick fixes; fixes can be efficient but at the same time not necessarily effective.
Secondly, in many situations, without conflict, little progress is made. The conflict created by the increase in gasoline prices provided the pressure for more efficient vehicle engines. The conflict between two teams on the football field results in an exciting experience for many.
The critical point in the many conflicts we encounter is how we deal with them.
In the old west, the six-gun was a popular way to settle conflict. It was efficient, but not very productive. L. Randolph Lowry, past Director of the Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University relates an amusing conflict-settling approach.
Randy was driving in Boston. He relates that a couple of drivers in nearby cars were obviously upset with each other. They were making hand gestures and shouting at each other. The cars proceeded until they reached a red light. The drivers got out of their cars and started beating on each other. The light turned green. They got back in their cars and drove away. Mr. Lowry noted that he really could not argue with the efficiency of that mode of dealing with conflict – we have this disagreement, and we are going to pursue it until the light turns green, and then we are out of here. A very efficient system. However, its application is limited.
Next week: ways of dealing with conflict.
Although sometimes not recognized as such, we all live in conflict. It may be as small as a difference of opinion at home or a disagreement at the office, and as significant as war. It may be a father who is trying to provide adequate finances for his family, but cannot find a job. Workers who want better wages or benefits, but find their employer unwilling. Employers who would grant employees better wages and benefits, but can’t find the revenue. Conflict is often found in team members who have the same goals, but different opinions on how to reach those goals. Since differences – conflicts – are found everywhere, how do we deal with them?
First, it is important that we realize the positive and the negative sides of conflict. Individuals caught in conflict often have the opinion that whatever it takes, it would be wonderful to be rid of the distraction. They believe that without conflicting situations, things would run smoothly and progress faster. In fact, that is true. If everyone thinks the same way, things do move faster and usually smoother. However, there should be other considerations.
While smoothness and speed have their place, many differences don’t respond to quick fixes; fixes can be efficient but at the same time not necessarily effective.
Secondly, in many situations, without conflict, little progress is made. The conflict created by the increase in gasoline prices provided the pressure for more efficient vehicle engines. The conflict between two teams on the football field results in an exciting experience for many.
The critical point in the many conflicts we encounter is how we deal with them.
In the old west, the six-gun was a popular way to settle conflict. It was efficient, but not very productive. L. Randolph Lowry, past Director of the Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University relates an amusing conflict-settling approach.
Randy was driving in Boston. He relates that a couple of drivers in nearby cars were obviously upset with each other. They were making hand gestures and shouting at each other. The cars proceeded until they reached a red light. The drivers got out of their cars and started beating on each other. The light turned green. They got back in their cars and drove away. Mr. Lowry noted that he really could not argue with the efficiency of that mode of dealing with conflict – we have this disagreement, and we are going to pursue it until the light turns green, and then we are out of here. A very efficient system. However, its application is limited.
Next week: ways of dealing with conflict.
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