Perception is very important in successful conflict resolution. That brings up the story of my invisible experience.
There was a topic of high interest in the community. A forum was set to discuss it. Since I had considerable experience with the topic, I was asked to represent one side of the issue. I spent time thinking through the concern, doing a little extra research, and developing a list of questions and appropriate answers. I was ready – or so I thought.
The night came. I was first up and made a short presentation. However, as I was doing so, I noticed a very strange thing. Although their eyes were opened, it appeared that everyone was asleep. Throughout my presentation, it was as if I were invisible. No one questioned my presentation. No one asked for further information. No one even argued with my position.
When the individual representing the other side began, it was as if someone had snapped their fingers and awakened the crowd. It was not because he was a local; he was an outsider. I was the local. Was it because he was so much more dynamic or made a better presentation?
According to the leader who apologized to me after, this crowd had already made up their minds and had brought this outside individual into the community merely to sell their idea. Had I been aware, I would have operated differently.
Dealing effectively with conflict requires an understanding of the perspective of others involved. You need to know who you are dealing with and what they think.
Here are some suggestions for success:
First, do as much research on the group as possible.
Second, at the meeting, start by getting their input – what do they think, what are the issues as they see them?
Third, do this from a sit-down-with-them approach – don’t be the sage on the stage.
Had I known, I would have had a totally different approach. I would have put away my graphics and dumped my speech. I would have insisted that the other side be first. Then, I would have sat down on a table and started asking them questions. I may not have changed everyone’s mind. However, I would have stimulated some thought and lead them into a better examination of the issue. At the very least, I would not have been invisible.
There was a topic of high interest in the community. A forum was set to discuss it. Since I had considerable experience with the topic, I was asked to represent one side of the issue. I spent time thinking through the concern, doing a little extra research, and developing a list of questions and appropriate answers. I was ready – or so I thought.
The night came. I was first up and made a short presentation. However, as I was doing so, I noticed a very strange thing. Although their eyes were opened, it appeared that everyone was asleep. Throughout my presentation, it was as if I were invisible. No one questioned my presentation. No one asked for further information. No one even argued with my position.
When the individual representing the other side began, it was as if someone had snapped their fingers and awakened the crowd. It was not because he was a local; he was an outsider. I was the local. Was it because he was so much more dynamic or made a better presentation?
According to the leader who apologized to me after, this crowd had already made up their minds and had brought this outside individual into the community merely to sell their idea. Had I been aware, I would have operated differently.
Dealing effectively with conflict requires an understanding of the perspective of others involved. You need to know who you are dealing with and what they think.
Here are some suggestions for success:
First, do as much research on the group as possible.
Second, at the meeting, start by getting their input – what do they think, what are the issues as they see them?
Third, do this from a sit-down-with-them approach – don’t be the sage on the stage.
Had I known, I would have had a totally different approach. I would have put away my graphics and dumped my speech. I would have insisted that the other side be first. Then, I would have sat down on a table and started asking them questions. I may not have changed everyone’s mind. However, I would have stimulated some thought and lead them into a better examination of the issue. At the very least, I would not have been invisible.
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