Shut Up and Listen

This may be a rather crass way to start a new year. However, it tells a critically important story. I have several children; I have learned a lot from them. One particular lesson continues to play an important role in my life.

Late one night one of the teens came home from a school activity. He was upset. I do not remember the situation. However, as a caring father, I tried to solve his problem. In a moment of extreme frustration he said to me, “Dad, shut up and listen!” I was stunned. My children never talked to me that way, and here I was trying to help.  My first reaction was one of indignation with a twinge of hurt. Fortunately, I was so caught off guard that I stopped talking. He then poured out his problems and his feelings. After getting it all out, he asked for my input and my help.

Through all of my experiences, training, and education, this advice from a child tops the stack. Through my observations of many organizations, this one change – leadership talking less and listening more – would mean the difference between marginal success and optimal success, or even between success and failure.

As I look around at businesses and organization, I want to shout that advice to them: “shut up and listen!” No, I am not talking about listening to me. I am talking to leadership about being willing to stop amid all of the “stuff” that goes on unceasingly around them. I am saying, as my son did to me, to just close the mouth long enough to hear what is really going on. With all of the really poor decisions  many American businesses have made in the past, they need to get out of the telling mode and into the learning mode; perhaps starting with their employees.

As a New Year’s resolution, perhaps we could all be more willing to listen and more willing to learn.

Leaders, supervisors, teachers, and parents – a little knowledge…

We often hear the phrase “ a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.” To that was added” and so is a lot.” Although, this often brings a smile, it should be taken seriously. Of course, acquiring and retaining as much knowledge as possible is a wise thing.

That is not the problem.

The problem lies in what sometimes happens to us when we think we know a lot. Management, leadership, teachers, and even parents are not immune to this problem. In fact, this condition can be more impacting at that level.

First, when we have a lot of knowledge, information, or experience, sometimes we stop listening and learning. We think we have the answers. We fail to listen to those individuals who may view things from a different perspective, or deal more directly with the issue.

Second, we can forget where the real focus should be. It can shift too much on us and our priorities instead of what is best for the organization or the individual.

Since the mere title of CEO, director, supervisor or boss often flavors the opinions of some of those who work for you – you sit on the handle bars while everyone else pedals – actions that illustrate a lack of tolerance or interest in their opinions, can negatively affect production. As worker knowledge and input is not solicited or accepted, the leader’s effectiveness diminishes.

Perhaps we should modify the saying slightly. Perhaps it should say:” any knowledge – a little or a lot –  is only a good beginning and gives us an opportunity to listen and learn.

If you are a parent or a teacher, this principle fits well. Adults tend to talk too much and listen too little; try reversing that.

(See “Leadership” articles in the list to the right)