Shut Up and Listen

This may be a rather crass way to start a new year. However, it tells a critically important story. I have several children; I have learned a lot from them. One particular lesson continues to play an important role in my life.

Late one night one of the teens came home from a school activity. He was upset. I do not remember the situation. However, as a caring father, I tried to solve his problem. In a moment of extreme frustration he said to me, “Dad, shut up and listen!” I was stunned. My children never talked to me that way, and here I was trying to help.  My first reaction was one of indignation with a twinge of hurt. Fortunately, I was so caught off guard that I stopped talking. He then poured out his problems and his feelings. After getting it all out, he asked for my input and my help.

Through all of my experiences, training, and education, this advice from a child tops the stack. Through my observations of many organizations, this one change – leadership talking less and listening more – would mean the difference between marginal success and optimal success, or even between success and failure.

As I look around at businesses and organization, I want to shout that advice to them: “shut up and listen!” No, I am not talking about listening to me. I am talking to leadership about being willing to stop amid all of the “stuff” that goes on unceasingly around them. I am saying, as my son did to me, to just close the mouth long enough to hear what is really going on. With all of the really poor decisions  many American businesses have made in the past, they need to get out of the telling mode and into the learning mode; perhaps starting with their employees.

As a New Year’s resolution, perhaps we could all be more willing to listen and more willing to learn.

Communicating - understanding the culture

Ever hear anything like this?

Working with BNT is no picnic and I smell a rat. They always want an arm and a leg, and Joe, the lead man, always has a chip on his shoulder even though he is all bark and no bite. Sometimes, I think they need a taste of their own medicine, but there is no sense in beating a dead horse. Working out a deal will be no piece of cake, but it should be profitable.  I guess we shouldn’t count our chickens before they hatch.

In today’s world market, language differences are a common occurrence. Merely speaking another language does not ensure effective communication. According to David Boyd who teaches Mandarin Chinese at the United States Air Force Academy, it is critically important to understand the culture as well as the language. Professor Boyd spent two years in China, living, speaking, writing, reading, and studying Chinese history.

Obviously, we can’t all spend extensive time living in different sections of the country and of the world in order to communicate more effectively. However, there are some things that will help.

First, be sure that the message you send is plain and accurate. Say what you mean and don’t confuse it with idioms. It is always good to have someone review a hard copy of important communiques. If your administrative assistant doesn’t understand, chances are, others may have a problem.

Second, check for understanding. Don’t ask:” does everyone understand?” Do facilitate a short discussion regarding the issue.

Finally, if you are the recipient of communication that seems to be confusing, ask for clarification.

And, by the way, English is not the only language with idioms. Be aware, and beware. So, in dealing with this area, my only comment is: break a leg.