Shut Up and Listen

This may be a rather crass way to start a new year. However, it tells a critically important story. I have several children; I have learned a lot from them. One particular lesson continues to play an important role in my life.

Late one night one of the teens came home from a school activity. He was upset. I do not remember the situation. However, as a caring father, I tried to solve his problem. In a moment of extreme frustration he said to me, “Dad, shut up and listen!” I was stunned. My children never talked to me that way, and here I was trying to help.  My first reaction was one of indignation with a twinge of hurt. Fortunately, I was so caught off guard that I stopped talking. He then poured out his problems and his feelings. After getting it all out, he asked for my input and my help.

Through all of my experiences, training, and education, this advice from a child tops the stack. Through my observations of many organizations, this one change – leadership talking less and listening more – would mean the difference between marginal success and optimal success, or even between success and failure.

As I look around at businesses and organization, I want to shout that advice to them: “shut up and listen!” No, I am not talking about listening to me. I am talking to leadership about being willing to stop amid all of the “stuff” that goes on unceasingly around them. I am saying, as my son did to me, to just close the mouth long enough to hear what is really going on. With all of the really poor decisions  many American businesses have made in the past, they need to get out of the telling mode and into the learning mode; perhaps starting with their employees.

As a New Year’s resolution, perhaps we could all be more willing to listen and more willing to learn.

Fish catching, pony roping, and saber-tooth tiger bashing

I have observed trends in societies and perused a number of university and business schools, and have concerns about what is transpiring and what is being taught. Let me start with an illustration.

A long time ago there was a valley. In the mountains above the valley was a glacier. The glacier was slowly melting which produced a stream to the little valley. Because there was water running through the valley, fish developed. Because there was water running through the valley, little ponies came down to drink. Because that was a good place to find little ponies, saber-toothed tigers often roamed through the valley.

Related to these events, the local young people were taught how to catch fish, rope ponies, and bash saber-tooth tigers. This all worked  well for many, many years.

As time passed, the glacier got smaller and smaller. Finally, it was gone. When the glacier dried up, so did the little stream that went through the valley. When the stream was gone, so were the fish. The little ponies no longer came into the valley to drink. Because there were no little ponies in the valley, saber-tooth tigers roamed elsewhere. However, long after these events transpired, the young people were still being trained in fish catching, pony roping, and saber-tooth tiger bashing.

We have just come through a devastating recession. We are still feeling the effects of that, and will likely feel them for many years to come. Although the reasons are complex, a number of truths have become evident: (1) over emphasis on the bottom line of success being measured by money; (2) a lack of concern for those who might be injured by that emphasis;( 3) an increase in production, and the loss of buying power; (4) and, a stronger emphasis on financial gains on the short-term. Unfortunately, this condition has actually proven very profitable for a certain faction.

So, what are we teaching in society and business schools today? Is there a stronger emphasis on equity, on ethics, on sharing the wealth throughout the organization? Have we modified the curriculum to echo more the thoughts expressed by dear old Spock, that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few? Is the bottom line people or money? Is there a focus on service to others or profit for me? Are we still fixated on a past process that got us where we are today? Is that where we want to be?